I feel like I delayed too long in getting to this post.
December was crazy, or rather, it felt crazy. Some may feel the stress of making sure you have gotten a gift for everyone you think is important (or the people that got you a gift, and to avoid feeling bad you didn’t get them a gift you get them a gift).
So Christmas for me devolves into a murder mystery game where I need to go through my lists of relatives and friends who I think might have gotten me something, and make sure I get them something as well.
Charlie Browns true meaning of Christmas ain’t here no more.
I could go on about the woes of Christmas, and the new year, and me, myself, and I some more, but then I just feel like I’m rambling away the true purpose of this post.
Which I have already forgotten.
I was originally going to do a year in review post, but I have a hard time remembering all the stuff that happened to me this year. Or rather I’m not particularly proud of everything, but maybe I’ll do my best at it anyway.
The year flew by.
At the beginning of the year I think I remember my resolution being something along the lines of getting my dream job, or taking more steps toward my dream job (something along those lines). That desire hasn’t really changed. Except the problem with that is I’m not sure what my dream job is…
I don’t really remember anything eventful happening for the beginning of the year, quite frankly I was in a rut. One I couldn’t get myself out of, though I struggled, and tried.
In April, I ended up getting a job at a fitness studio, as a Sales Associate, for some income, where I stayed for 8 months of this year, ending in November. Hard to believe I really spent that long there.
During my time there I learned some valuable networking skills, and practices, as well as selling techniques (which is useful in my industry as I must learn how to sell myself to employers).
I’m still not a great sales person, and don’t have a desire to be, but I think the knowledge I acquired there was invaluable, and remember wishing I had the knowledge I had at that job 2 weeks in, at my graduation day networking event.
There I could have reached out to Industry Veterans with more confidence, and form some potentially great contacts. But that is in the past, and I’ll always be looking forward to seeing how I can use what I learned elsewhere.
I also got a part time job, while still working there, teaching kids programming through making video games, this is still ongoing, and I love it.
The past 2 months since leaving my fitness job, I’ve invested as much time as I could into myself. spending time on the projects I’ve had kicking around in my head, and learning new things in the process. Even resurrecting old projects to try new things I didn’t know before.
Going forward, I hope I can continue to do this with the discipline I’ve had thus far.
To be honest I am quite scared of the new year. There is lots of unknowns. The biggest one that makes me uneasy is what I am supposed to do.
I’m not going to pretend I’m great at everything. I’m a jack of all trades, I like that. I like to understand how things work, and having a greater understanding of the various components that make up a game gives me the ability to say: “Here is my idea, and here is how I think it could be implemented”.
It bugs me when I can’t understand the complexity of something, or when I have this idea for how I think something could work and someone tells me its too difficult.
Upon self introspection, I have adapted the ideal that: “if I can do it, anyone can!”.
Which I admit, is probably the worst ideal to hold yourself to if you want to add ‘Value’ to a company.
(Though, at a second glace, it’s a great quality for a teacher, amirite? No?)
So I constantly find myself back at the same crossroads of ‘Specialization, and ‘Literally Everything’. Every time I tell myself to specialize, and every time I start to, then some how diverge, and find myself back in the same place.
So if the saying “If you can’t beat them, join them”, is impossible since you can’t ‘join them’, then “If you can’t join them, _______ them ”
When I figure out what that _______ word is I’ll let you know, but for now I think I’ll try to finish one of these projects and maybe get some revenue off it.
Least so goes fourth the current plan of action.
Hope to see you next time, for more of whatever this is 🙂